![“Always borrow money from a Pessimist. He won’t expect it BACK.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/oscar-wilde-money-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
Funny Quotes
![“Always borrow money from a Pessimist. He won’t expect it BACK.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/oscar-wilde-money-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
![“A SUCCESSFUL MAN is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN is one who can find such a man.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/success-quotes-by-lana-turner-relishquotes.jpg)
“A SUCCESSFUL MAN is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN is one who can find such a man.”
![“A lot of people are afraid of HEIGHTS. Not me, I’m afraid of Widths.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/funny-humorous-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
“A lot of people are afraid of HEIGHTS. Not me, I’m afraid of Widths.”
![“I’m trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/i-am-trying-to-think-funny-quote-relishquotes.jpg)
“I’m trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.”
![“Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/funny-quotes-by-relishquotes-1.jpg)
“Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.”
![“Those who snore always fall asleep first.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/those-who-snore-always-fall-asleep-first-funny-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
“Those who snore always fall asleep first.”
![“If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/If-you-dont-mind-it-doesnt-matter-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
“If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
![“Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/funny-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
“Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.”
![“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/i-love-mickey-mouse-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”
![“Why don’t snails run? Because their eyes go wobbly.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/happiness-funny-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
“Why don’t snails run? Because their eyes go wobbly.”
![“In Beer there is FREEDOM, in wine there is HEALTH, in Cognac there is POWER and in Water there is BACTERIA.”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/funny-cool-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)
“In Beer there is FREEDOM, in wine there is HEALTH, in Cognac there is POWER and in Water there is BACTERIA.”
![“The FUTURE is shaped by your DREAMS, so stop wasting time and go to SLEEP!”](https://relishquotes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/A-future-is-shaped-by-your-dreams-quotes-relishquotes.jpg)